Last Updated: Sep 13th, 2007 - 20:41:00 

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Essay/Humor

Essay/Humor
Too much information?
Every National Hockey League club puts out an annual media guide. These guides, or yearbooks as they are sometimes dubbed, can provide a tremendous amount of useless information—making one wonder how many trees could have been saved were it not for their publication


Essay/Humor
Wanna Fight?
I don’t really like hockey fights. Well, what I really mean is I don’t like being in them. I’ve been playing on and off since I was 8 years old and have never really been in one...


Essay/Humor
Six can play at that game
I once thought if I lost my husband it would be to a game of one-on-one, not to a team sport. I thought if he left in the middle of the night, it would be into the open arms of another more fair and lovely, not into the arms of five other men.


Essay/Humor
Are you a Hockeyholic?
We saw this quiz posted at rink and thought we’d share it. If you answer “yes” to any of these 10 questions, find yourself a support group to talk to—or a team to play for. Fast. Remember, the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem!


Essay/Humor
10 Things only players understand
Ever get tired of explaining hockey to your mom, your friends, your girlfriend, boyfriend, your wife? (Husbands may just understand a little better because they probably played a team sport or two.) There are things in life that no one else is ever going to get. And some things are simply better left unexplained. Because explaining them only makes them sound even goofier. But here’s my feeble attempt.


Essay/Humor
Goalies: 10 uses for broken water bottles
Is there anything that punctuates the fact that a goalie's game is in the basement than the sight of a water bottle sailing through the air high over your head, landing on the ice with a crash, water flying everywhere, followed by a shower of those little bits of plastic, the remains of what used to be the cap?


Essay/Humor
Why Hockey?
What could possibly drive anyone to put on rank damp musty equipment and go out in freezing cold or in humid sweltering heat, to play a stupid game of ice or roller hockey? A thought like this has often entered my wife’s mind, I am almost certain!


Essay/Humor
I always played for the fun of the game
I decided 10 years ago, during a game in which my team was getting pasted 10-1, that competitive hockey was no longer for me. I was taking a breather between shifts, and despite the score, the other team played like there was no tomorrow...


Essay/Humor
The "Boring Stories" of glory days
For most recreational players, it’s hard to fathom playing in a local league as a glorious event. Unless, of course, you convert that one-timer to win an overtime playoff game.


Essay/Humor
The thrill -- and agony -- at trophy time
At long last, the Fat Lady has sung her swan song at all the tournaments in all the rinks of North America, signifying the cessation of all hockey hostilities and the end of another season on the rink.


Essay/Humor
Geezer hockey: Texas style
“I used to play hockey.” That’s how I’ve summed up my life’s major sporting experience for the last 30 years.


Essay/Humor
Hockey's Top 5 lists
Not to steal David Letterman’s thunder, but throughout the years of coaching hockey, we as coaches, have developed our own “Top 10” lists. We’ve also noticed that Mr. Letterman has yet to come up with a Top 10 list for ice hockey...


Essay/Humor
Playing hockey on Saturn's wings
My 8–year–old son has been indoctrinated into a great American custom—begging for money...


Essay/Humor
Who needs soccer moms?
Permanently attached to nearly every wrist is a Styrofoam cup full of industrial strength rink coffee, which tastes like garbage, but does warm the tender fingers that have been shredded tying the extra tight knots in the laces of their disgustingly wide awake and bright-eyed young charges eager to sprint onto the ice for that very special first lap around the rink after the Zamboni clears the sheet of ice...


Essay/Humor
How rich people play hockey
Every night in just about every town and city across North America, middle-aged men of average means take their aromatic and disheveled bags of hockey gear into frigid arenas to indulge their fantasies.



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